Singapore Superhero, Revealed!

Notice: An attempt to grab the Acer Laptop that Nuffnang is offering in accordance to Singapore Movie Fiesta. Tee hee!

Disclaimer: THESE STORIES ARE ENTIRELY UNTRUE AND STUPID ENOUGH TO FOOL A FOOL. So, take it with a pinch of salt la hor.

You've seen Batman and Robin, Superman, The Incredibles and heck, even Mr-Friendly-Neighbourhood, Mr Spidey. All of them looks about the same right? Found any similarities? Huahuahua, they all wear tights! All tights. I wonder how their weapon of mass destruction a.k.a dragon a.k.a their eel a.k.a light sabre a.k.a penis can take it lar! Maybe they're sufferin' from erectile disfunction. Huhu.

Anyway, Nuffnang's up there to give Acer Laptop for the best Singapore Superhero blog post. So, here I am, crapping my way. Nuffnang, pick me pick me!

Well, the big case of Mas Selamat's escape has scored big news in Singapore and across the border.


Picture obtained from TalkingCock.com and apparently this picture was created by Sonny Liew, Singapore Cartoonist.

Sudden automation of ERP Gantry forces many lorries to stop in the middle of the road to input their Cashcard and the detour of many motorcyclist.


Children became 5 seconds Superman and later on injured/died after their mini-bus does Singapore Drift.



If that's not serious enough, what about this! Mr Sing, a.k.a Mr Gundam-only go around sueing people for downloading anime that he doesn't own!

THIS IS SERIOUS PROBLEM! NO SUPERHERO CANNOT SURVIVE!

Therefore, a secret superhero was born.

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In the land of somewhere far far away, in a not-so-secret lair, Whitley Detention Centre, was Kau Bei. He's a janitor there, cleaning up mess left behind by detainees in executive size toilet cubicles with windows large enough for a fat ass to climb over.

ONE DAY, a leakage of the sewer happened and a pile mutated shit leaked onto one of the lunch. Kau Bei didn't know what it was. Thinking that it was Peanut Butter, he packed it up for next day's breakfast.

Next day : *Yum YUm Yum*

Because he was poor and haven never eaten peanut butter before, he ate em all up. Went to work like normal, do everything normally, until suddenly!

****ALARM SOUNDING***

1st Officer: MASS SELAMAT CHAO LIAO LA! ALAMAK! HOW HOW????
2nd Officer: Relax la. His leg one side tempang wan, cannot run wan lar. Let's take a cup of coffee before we go catch him.

Kau Bei: Mas Selamat shit so little. I don't have to clean so much. He escape, what if they catch another person to replace his place, and that guy shit a lot???? CANNOT CANNOT! I MUST CATCH MAS SELAMAT!

Kau Bei got heated up and ran to the toilet where Mas Selamat escaped. *groan* His breakfast starts to react. Kau Bei couldn't walk anymore. He feels as if he's gonna drop dead. He vomited into the toilet bowl and flushed it. WRONG MOVE!

Kau Bei woke up in SembCorp. Apparently someone saw him floating in shits and saved him. Why is he there, he wondered.

He opened his eyes and he sees this everywhere.

He was devastated. More shits to clean soon. He still wonders why is he there.

He went back home straight after that devastating event. Having his bladder filled, he went to the washroom and answered a call of nature. Then he pressed the flush button. WRONG MOVE!

He reappeared at SembCorp. Now his frustration is building and Kau Bei became angry. Soon after that, he realise that he has turned into a walking shit! MORE frustrated than ever, he "keik" his energy, and thought of what happened in between his house's toilet and SembCorp with this face.

Puff, he appeared in his house toilet. He soon realise he is no longer the Kau Bei he is previously. He has inherited magical power from the shit he ate.

Superhero Name: Kau Bu
Means of Transforming: Anger
Identified Super Power: Teleporting from one toilet to another.
How Does He Look Like?:-


Something like this, but instead of red, he's brown, shit colour, except, his colour is different depending on what he eats.

Now that he can teleport, he thinks he's a big shot and he fired his boss. And he teleports from one toilet to another, trying to find Mas Selamat, as he loves Spiderman. "With great power, comes great responsibility".

One time, he teleported into a nearby toilet where he heard a screeching sound of burning tyres. Rushing out, he saw a kid being flung out of a minibus. His reflects took a better side of him, and before he realise it, he's already a human cushion.

The kid landed in a supposed pile of shit and was saved from being smash hard onto the hard concrete!! Thanks to KAU BU!

Another Identified Super Power: Turn himself into any shape by shaping his shit self.

Now that he's bored of teleporting, he turn himself into Kau Bei and hop onto his motorbike and drive along the expressway, enjoying the breeze.

*BRAKE*

Kau Bei + crowd + crowd: ALAMAK! NEW ERP GANTRY SIA! I NO BRING CASHCARD/CASHCARD EXPIRED HOW?????? IN HURRY LAR!!!!!

Kau Bei got angry.

Kau Bei transformed into Kau Bu!!!!

He give himself another constipating look and soon after that, he's shooting rock solid constipated shit at the ERP gantry and it destroys it within seconds.



EVERYONE: *Cheers CHeers*

With a sense of achievement, Kau Bu teleported himself to the toilet in Esplanade and stands on top of the Durian. Wind blowing over him, he watch over Singapore as he thinks "With great power comes great responsibility". I must catch Mas Selamat.

WILL HE SUCCEED?

Nobody knows. Nobody.

P.S: I don't think i'm eligible for this. LOL!


Further Critical Update:


HIS FATHER is a GENIUS!